Probably the hardest part of marriage, or any relationship I've had, has been the push and pull of 'control'. I am very strong willed, independent and opinionated, I want what I want and usually I want it now. Now, motherhood helped that I lot because literally I get nothing when i want it only to ensure that 3 little people's demands are met nearly on command. Hahaha. But I do believe that in a relationship someone needs to have the final say. For us, that person is my husband. Let me be clear that all of our decisions are made jointly and the big ones are at length with both sides being taken into consideration. BUT if we're at a stand still and don't agree my husband gets the final say. There are many reasons for this but the bottom line is that what he says goes. Now if that decision happens to be the wrong one I am still my loud opinionated self. (Hahahah) When I tell people this though they are very perplexed and very put off. I can see it on their faces and hear it in their silence. One friend even told me 'that sounds awful.' And I fully admit sometimes its a bitch! And sometimes I don't like knowing that I can argue all I want but if he's got his mind set we're not doing X Y or Z. But its what works for us. And it works, in part, because I give up a little of my need for control and trust in my husband. I trust that he has our best interest at heart, I trust that he knows what he's doing and that he is making his decision with care. I've seen him compromise plenty of times, especially in the interest of our family and I trust that he always wants to do right by us. So in the end I relinquished my control and lost some selfishness, and its worth it every day.
No comments:
Post a Comment