Happy Mothers Day Mom! You have given me more than I could ever ask for. You've put up with more BS than you EVER should have had too. And you make me laugh and smile pretty much every day.
Here are just a few thank you's that I don't say enough:

-Thank you for giving me my grandma. Because we lived with her I got to have a relationship that most kids don't get to have with their grandparents. And I am forever grateful for that...Even though she always busted me for not wearing a winter hat ... how did she know!? : )

- Thank you for letting me live, make my own mistakes and for letting me cry about them to you, even when you'd told me the whole time that whatever I was doing wasn't a good idea.

-Thank you for letting me move out ... and move home ... several times because of those bad ideas I mentioned above.

-Thank you for laughing at me, putting me in my place and making fun of me. Sometimes I can be a little too serious for my own good.

-Thank you for allllll the times you didn't bitch slap me. I know I desearved it.

-Thank you for being the most wonderful, fun and amazing gramma to Marley Lou. She loves you.

-Thank you for showing me what it is to give of yourself and put other people first...that being said ... I also have learned to really just put myself first sometimes and say screw you to all those other people. hahahaha.

Really and truley I love you and have so much respect for you.  I love that I can call you 3 times in one day and you are always ready to just 'catch up' and chat. Even though it's been an hour since I talked to you last. I love that we have the same eyes and forhead and that when I look at me, I see you. And that makes me proud. You are an amazing mom and gramma and I don't think we tell you enough.

What being a Mommy means to me

Recently I got this tattoo on my arm - dedicated to my lil Marley Lou and inspired by a song by Bombshell.

I got it because ... well because I want Marley to know that she doesn't have to take crap from anyone. I want her to know that she can do anything and be anyone that she wants to be and I want her to know that I am always always always in her corner. I have a great mom who taught me to stand up for myself and to know that if I am being my best, then I desearve the best in return (more about her on mothers day). But I want to teach marley all that and more. SO here are a few thoughts on what being a mommy means to me ... so far at least ...

-Knowing that her needs are more important than mine. This includes her needs at 1am...when she's too lazy to reach over and find her nuk...so she cries until mommy comes in and gives it to her. :)
-It means hugs and kisses and smiles and laughs from her erase all things bad. A bad day, a bad haircut (see my previous post haha), a bad nights sleep. Nothing else seems to matter when she looks at me and smiles.
-It means a crazy need to protect my baby from everything that might hurt her. I try to let go and not hover ... but it's hard. This also means that I will rip your eyes out if you even think of hurting her...I did say crazy right? :)
-It's a feeling of being fulfilled. I've wanted to be a mommy for a long time and she has made me feel complete and whole like I never knew was posisible.
-It's a little bit of fear. What if I screw up ... what if I loose her ... what if what if what if ... all of the above however make this little bit of fear ok.
-It's knowing that I made the right decision to become a mommy, because even at 3 am when marley is throwing up all over and I have puke running down my side I am thinking 'yeah, I could have another one of you'.
- It's a feeling of accomplishment. I CAN do this. I can get down on the ground and play like a kid again. I can tell her no and have her listen to me. I can teach her things.
-Mostly it's feeling the most amazing amount of love for someone who has only been in my life for a very short time ... but who has been in my hear forever.


Marley Lou you are my light of my world and the beat in my heart. You are special and wonderful and strong.