The first six mongths

Lately I feel like I haven't had much time for anything except babies and Marley. These first six months have gone by so fast I can't believe it. Living on coffee and hope that the boys start sleeping through the night has kept me going though! A typical day goes like this:
-Marley up at 645am - snuggles and tv time in moms bed till the boys get up.
-Boys up around 730 - Breakfast, playtime, coffee time for mom.
-9am mom attempts to watch Kelly and Michael
-930 the boys take their first nap. This means quiet time for Mar. We do a project, we watch tv or we play nicely till the boys wake up.
-1030-11 the boys wake up. They eat. We clean up more, change diapers etc etc etc.
-1230 the boys go down for their second nap. Marley and I eat lunch. Clean up from lunch. Usually play play dough, build legos, do a puzzle (which Marley insists she likes but will sit for about two minutes and leaves me with the clean up). I make one more cup of coffee swearing its my last. Now that it's nice Marley will sometimes go play in our back yard while I clean up the kitchen, get a load of dishes started, fold laundry etc. If I'm feeling really tired Marley watches a show on my phone while I watch a show I have recorded.
-230 the boys wake up and we repeat the morning till Ben gets home. Sometime around 4pm I try to finish Kelly and Michael but realize that I've only made it to about 7 minutes in. I give up.


A great night is when each baby is only up once. A bad night (like last night) is when each baby is up a gazillion times and I get about two hours of sleep.


The boys are smiling, talking, reaching for us and mocking us. They smile alllll the time and are so dang sweet. Marley has been the BEST big sister I could ever ask for and I'm so lucky to have her. Because on the days that I'm majorly tired, stressed, thinking I can't keep going and wondering how the hell people do this. Marley looks at me and says that I'm the BEST mom or that she loves me. And sometimes when I'm crabby she says 'don't have that attitude with me!' hahaha. Either way she makes me smile and laugh and then the day  goes on. How lucky am I?


Last night I was packaging up clothes to donate and I looked at Ben and asked if he was SURE we were done having kids. Because I just don't know if I feel 'done'. He looked at me like I was a crazy person. haha. One or two more....maybe???.....

The twins birth story....finally

Well it's been six months, why not tell the boys birth story now.
I made it to one day shy of 39 weeks before we induced. I still kind of cant believe it. I am a super baby carrier!
A little back story. I went to the Dr. on Monday and she took one look at me and said 'you're just ready aren't you?' My response was YES! hahaha I asked if we could schedule an induction for Friday because it would mean less time that Ben had to take off work and more time that he'd have at home to help me. So the induction was scheduled for that Friday. Up until my induction I felt .... large....haha. I couldn't do much anymore. I'd slept in a recliner for roughly the last two months of my pregnancy. I couldn't bend over. I couldn't walk at more than a snails pace (super annoying to ben). I just wasn't going far fast!
Friday morning came and Ben and I were confidant that we'd start the induction around 8 and these babies would be born super fast (just like Marley). We started the induction around 8am. And we waited. My mom showed up around noon. Waited some more. Nothing was happening. So I got an epidural later in the day. I bounced on a ball. I walked a little. We all watched TV, read magazines, slept. Pretty soon one of my drs came in and said that he'd like to break my water in hopes that it would bring the boys down farther and start active labor. No joke he broke my water and jumped off the bed because of the huge gush. hehe. Finally things started to happen.
SO. Our plan was this: Deliver in the operating room because one baby was head down but the other was sideways. If the second baby didn't move head down and his cord came down before him we would have to deliver the second baby via c section. We were going to have one baby, stop and do a quick ultrasound to see where baby two was and make a decision from there. A few things happened in the interim. I was laying on my side so long all my epidural ran to one side ( I didn't even know that was possible) so I started feeling a LOT. The nurse kept asking me if I had to push. What I didn't realize at first was that I had to pee which actually equaled that I had to push. My the time I realized it I was practically delivering a baby. When I told the nurse I needed a Dr she said I'd have to wait because she was with another patient. My one freak out of the day was me yelling 'Im having twins I don't give a fuck!' Or something to that extent. Anyway I was swiftly rolled into the operating room and Ben was suited up in full Bee Keeper gear. My poor mom started following us and the Dr told her she couldn't come because it was too risky. Delivering in an operating room made me feel like I was on a movie. Big bright lights and LOTS of nurses, two drs and an anesthiologist all accompanied me. Pretty soon Sanders was born and I heard my dr say 'OK hold on I have a foot, let me see if I can get another one.' And two seconds later 'Got it.' Sanders and Hendrix were born two minutes apart. Hendrix being pulled out feet first and arms up over his head by my Dr. The boys were beautiful and healthy and we couldn't have been more amazed. As I wheeled out into the hallway and back to our room my mom, step dad, brother, sister and dad were all waiting and smiling. I don't know if I'll ever forget the pure joy that I felt in that moment.
The next several days were a blur and the months to come have flown by. But that moment, coming out and seeing my family, with my husband by my side and my twins in my arms .... that moment will forever stand still in my mind and my heart.

Found out we are having twins. What?!

Ben and I were so terrified excited to find out that we are having twin boys! I laid down on the table on Monday and the ultrasound tech looked at me and said 'this is your first ultrasound?' I said 'yes' and she says 'I'm going to show you something. Here is the first heartbeat and here is the second heartbeat. You are having twins.' Our jaws couldn't be pulled off the floor. hahahah. I KNEW I was big and I KNEW I was showing earlier than normal but I just figured it was because this was my second pregnancy. Guess not! Ben was pretty excited to find out right away that one was a boy. We found out about 20 minutes later that our second is also a boy. After the initial shock wore off I think we took it fairly well. Ben and I still stare at eachother in awe a couple times a night going 'I can't believe it' but are so excited to see what life has in store for us. I get all teary thinking about the fact that we lost one not that long ago and that this was just his way of coming back to us. And that makes me feel so blessed. *********I got a call from our dr today saying the ultrasound looked good and that I can still do monthly checkups for right now. Yah! I go in on Friday for my 20 week check up and for another quick ultrasound to make sure everything is still going well.

Aspartame you will be the death of me

If you viewed my previous post you now know that I'm pregnant :) Here is the thing about it. Everyone tells you how great it is and oh it's so wonderful blah blah blah. The truth? You are sick, you are tired, if you have kids one of them is always jumping on you and you can't eat ANYTHING. Good luck trying to find a drink without aspartame in it. No lunch meat. No sushi. No caffine. No soft cheese. And I could go on and on and on. Yesterday I had a turkey sandwich and had a pop. It felt soooooo good. hahahaha. My advice? Take everything with a grain of salt. No soft cheese that isn't pasturized. Well unless you are traveling to the south of france or you have goats, milk them and make cheese out of it I wouldn't be too worried. Don't go to a sushi place that looks like maybe yesterday it was tattoo parlor. And don't drink like 30 mt dews a day. Also be prepared for everyone to tell you how you should do things. Because, of course, they were/are a better pregnant person than you. 'Oh I didn't have ANY caffine, not worth the risk'. 'I microwave ALL my meat before I eat it. No sense in getting listeria.' Really bitch? I'm tired, my two year old was up twice last night and I'm having a goddamn cup of coffee. And guess what? I might even get my sandwich from the gas station...Ok I wouldn't get my sanwich from a gas station but you see what I mean. OK, pregnant women rant over.

First Trimester, week 10 - Man I'm sexy

Most people do NOT know that I'm currently pregnant. But I thought it might be fun to remember some of the 'wonderfulness' of pregnancy so I'm writing this on March 4th and scheduling the post for later on. So here goes. My pregnancy so far. Has been NOTHING like I remember Mars pregnancy being. I'm very tired, very sore and have horrible stomach problems. I've cut out milk and yogurt and that seems to help a little bit. But not a lot. I don't know whats worse, being constipated or the exact opposite. Mostly I feel bad for my co workers and husband who have to share a bathroom with me. I'm pretty sure I text my mom last week and said 'I can't stop pooping or farting.' Do you hear that Hannah H? Do not have sex ever or you'll get pregnant and this will happen to you :) Just kidding, you can have sex when you're 45. What else has been happening? We made the mistake of telling Mar that mommy had a baby in her tummy. Apparently she listens because a few days later Mar told auntie Brandi at daycare 'mommy has a baby in her tummy'. The cat was out of the bag. Whoops. We've only told a few people so far but I don't know how much longer I can keep the secret as I look like I'm about 5 months along ... not two. Awww the joys of your second pregnancy. What you weren't back in shape all the way like you wanted to be? What your stomach muscles have weakend considerably because of your first pregnancy? Well lets make sure the world knows that either you are eating way to many fruit roll ups or you are having a baby. Or, in my case, probably both. Luckily some of these symptoms have subsided a little bit. I'm not feeling SO amazingly exhausted and hopefully it will continue to get better as the days go on here. Even with all that Ben and I are feeling very blessed and are hoping that soon we will be telling the world we are expecting baby number 2 :)

It seems like

My girlfriend did something like this on FB and it got me thinking ... and got me all teary...so here goes *It seems like just yesterday I was: -Playing outside at my Nana and Papa's farm without a care in the world. -Crying to my mom in the car at the bus stop the first day of 7th grade. New school, no friends and I was terrified. She drove behind the school bus the whole way, stopped at the school to make sure I was ok and was waiting for me at the bus stop when I got home. Yup that one still makes me cry. What would we do without our moms? -Graduating high school and wondering where life would take me. -Moving out on my own for the first time without a single possesion of my own. Hand me down everything including pots and pans. I think I bought dollar store silverwear and dollar bowls from Target. -Going out too much, laughing all the time, being young and stupid and feeling like it would never end. -Sitting on my best friend Rachaels couch, talking, eating, watching tv, crying over a boy etc etc etc. And then walking the 20 steps back to my own apartment. Best 'roomate' situation ever. -Seeing Ben for the first time. Thinking about how cute he was and dancing with him all night. That was 7 years ago already. Where does time go? -Buying a house and hoping with all my hope that it was the right decision. It was. -Getting married. Big one. And KNOWING with all my heart that it was the right decision. It was, is and always will be :) -Finding out we were pregnant. Seeing Bens face for the first time with a half terrified look and a proud smile. -Having Marley. Looking at her and knowing I would love her and watch out for her forever. Hoping I could be the mommy she desearved. Time flies. And it's so easy to forget all the amazing things that life has brought us. _ I can't seem to get my blog to 'act' the way it wants to so I'm sorry for all the paragraphs. For some reason thats all it's letting me do right now!

Somehow my little girl is 2 today. Where has all that time gone? It seems like only yesterday I had just given birth to the most amazing little thing in the whole world. Now she talks, dresses herself and doesn't look like my little baby anymore. She tells us every morning 'I sleep good!' and is full of smiles and hugs, even when it's 530am :) She loves dancing and being silly and is the sweetest little thing. I think it still melts mine and Bens hearts every time she says 'I luv you'. Recently shes LOVED Dora and Bubble Guppies and requests to watch their 'movies' every night. Marley is most definitley Bens daughter as she loves to entertain. More than once we've laughed at her and she looks at us with those big blue serious eyes and asks 'that funny?' She wants to make sure we are having a great time. hahah Especially on Mondays after a whole weekend with her I find myself missing her terribly. But I know that soon enough I'll get home and she'll be running to me calling Mommy Mommy and telling me about her day. Marley you truely are the light of our world. You are funny, so amazingly smart and so sweet and kind. I love your feisty little attitude, the snuggles you give and the bold statements you make when you are very sure that you do NOT want to do something. :) You are wonderful and I am so blessed to be your mommy.