Relationships

It seems like every time I turn around lately Im hearing some great, lengthy, drawn out out explanation of women in relationships and what its like. More importantly what it SHOULD be like.  Its also usually followed by that person explaining to me what they desearve and why. Lets just be really super honest should we? I relationship is a choice.  Its a choice to be with an imperfect person who isn't going to do everything right. Its not some Elizabethan love affair where the man sweeps you off your feet and recites poetry.  Knowing someone, actually knowing someone, includes accepting them at not only their best most romantic but their worst. And lets just be honest and note whats happening in society shall we? Women want to be able to go out and screw the first guy they meet in a bar and not be judged for it, they want to be liberated and free from a mans help, they dont want doors help because they are 'feminists' and then 3 seconds later they are saying how they desearve some fictional guy out of a romance novel to sweep them off their feet. Mixed signals much?!
Ive been with my husband for 12 years.  They have been amazing and wonderful and i wouldnt change a thing. But he's seen me at some serious lows and vice versa. After we had our first child I dispised him and we didnt get along for maybe a year. But we didn't give up. We talked, like real talk. We changed for each other and for ourselves. We made serious compromises for each other and we are better for it. Relationships are hard and if you're not willing to humble yourself and compromise for the person you love you'll never make it.

I am not a victim

We live in a society full of victims and it nearly drives me crazy. We have the power to be in complete and total control of ourselves and yet, it seems, that every day everywhere people are letting others take that control away from them. Let me be more specific.  Never will I EVER give someone that I dont know the power to ruin my day. If someone says something off color to me, or mentions a point of view that I dont particularly agree with, it won't bother me in the least. Because 1 I am confidant enough in myself and my decisions that i dont happen to care to much about what other people think and 2 because I wont ever give someone that kind of control over me. A bartender recently told me that a patron told her she 'completly ruined her day' because the bartender got her food order wrong. Have some humility and realize that we're all human but even more, realize how much control you are giving up when you become the 'victim ' of someone elses mistake. I am not a victim and will not act as one. The only person who controls my emotions and my actions or re actions is me.

The part of me I don't let anyone see

The part of me I don't let anyone see. This is a tough one. The other things I write about I feel confidant in, this one, not so much.  Its anxiety.  I deal with anxiety so intense that it takes over my life, it makes daily routines hard to do and anything extra is nearly traumatic. Some people know that I deal with anxiety.  But most people see me deal with it in a funny way, in a 'laugh it off and make a joke way'. Not the real, panic attack, hyperventilate and cry way that is the reality. My poor husband gets to deal with the mess that I am before an event or before a family gathering.  He gets to deal with me freaking out, yelling, asking if I can just stay home and holding his hand because its the only thing from keeping me from slipping down a very deep dark hole. The thought of the noise, the people and the unknown makes me cringe now just thinking about it. When people DO for some reason catch me acting off,  being scared at nothing and everything and pacing back and forth they look at me like im crazy. Which I am, in that moment at least, which is why I hide it. Because how do you explain feeling out of control, scared and overwhelmed when doing things that people do every day? How come I can't just do those things? Those every day things that people do? And if I have no clue I sure as hell don't want to try and describe why to someone who has no clue how it feels to have your body hurt from stress. Or how it feels to have your brain shut down in a way that makes you stutter . My husband used to tell me to 'plan better' 'do things to get ahead of the game' etc. But soon saw that it doesn't matter if I have it all mapped out or not, if that panic hits I am shutting down.  Completely and totally and the only thing to do is lead me through it till it's done. Its the worst feeling ever. So there's my secret me. The one I dont like people to see. The one I dont like to explain. The one that I try to hide. The one Id like to keep hidden.

Family life

Its often that I find myself on the phone with my dad talking about the things Im grateful for and the things we can so easily take for granted. I commented the other night that we have so much more than some people could ever imagine. Most importantly, for me, my kids know they are loved.  They know they have a safe warm house to come home to and that mommy and daddy love them and will take care of them. Its incredibly important to Ben and I that we raise children with family in mind. That means dinner together at night, breakfast together in the morning and probably less activities than most families participate in. We have very young children so as we get older compromises will be made and we'll be working more around schedules etc. I also work at night which means I miss a few dinners a week and ben leaves early in the am so I do brekfast. Its differant but we make it work. We make it work because being a strong family unit is important to us. And to me, a lot of being a family comes from being around a table,  eating together and sharing your day. A lot of my happiest memories come from being around a table, my family close to me and a made from scratch meal in front of me. It's where the grownups talked about life, jobs, farming and crops and us kids had our fill of mashed potatoes,  meat, veggies and desserts before running off to play. I want that for our children. And while it's probably unconventional nowadays to push for family dinners and hot breakfasts, we're trying to make that tradition our own.

Friends

I was texting a friend this morning and it struck me that I am very lucky to have the women in my life that I do. I have a very small group of friends whom I have been friends with for a very long time. We have been through a whole lot of shit together and we've made it through. We talk about anything and everything and we trust  and value the others opinions.  Ive shared my life with these women and we've been through marriage, divorce, love or lack there of, good times, bad times, times when we were so broke we were barely making rent and times when we were buying dinner for eachother. Im so lucky to have them in my life and Ill tell you why. Never have been scared or ashamed to tell them something. I know that I can go to these ladies with anything and it will be met with love, probably with laughs and some sort of solution. But we have always raised each other up, rather than tear eachother down.
The other night I had a few women over for a Pure Haven party.  We had pizza and wine , we learned about some new product's and we laughed and talked. I told my husband after that I didn't realize how badly I was needing a night of girl time. I always try to make sure my husband and I get date nights but a girls night is harder to  come by! But it was so good for my soul.
Women need to help each other,  love each other and be there for one another. There is a whole lot of negativity in the world, pick some women to lift you up, laugh with and share with. It will make your life so much better. 💖💖💖💖

To the girl whose heart was broken

Recently my sister  (19 years old) told me about her friend who'd just had her heart crushed by a boy.  More specifically,  by a boy who no longer wanted to be with her. And my heart hurt for her. Because Ive been there. I've felt that unimaginable hurt that feels as if it will never end. I know what if feels like to want someone so badly you'd do just about anything to make them want you back.
There was once a time when I thought Id met the man I would marry. He was so cute and he made me laugh. He was the first love of my life and I thought we'd be together forever. And then suddenly we weren't together. Well.....not suddenly.  Really it had been 2 years of on again off again, 2 years of drama,2 years when I put him before most other things and where he put me last. Not always! But enough that I should have known that I desearved better. I should have remembered that I was really a pretty cool chick who had a lot of things going for her and that I wasnt just his girlfriend. But it was so easy to forget because when we were together we had so much fun and when we were apart I felt like I could never be with anyone else. But then life is funny isnt it? It pushes us forward even when we dont want to be pushed. And the world just keeps spinning even though we want to stand still. Id like to give some magical end to this where after this point I met my husband and we lived happily ever after. But thats not the case. There were 2 long relationships after my first love that were hard to let go of. And one that I let go of way too fast and didn't appreciate for what it could have been. But through each one I found a little more of myself.  I found the person I am and am supposed to be. No longer that guys girlfriend but me. And when I did meet my husband one drunken night in a bar (yes in a bar) I wasnt afraid to just be myself. Which sometimes he loves and other times could do without hahaha. But he accepted me for me.....more importantly I accepted me for me.
So to the girl hurting and crying. Remember that men are fairly transparent.  Take what hes saying in and move on. Realize that it hurts now but it wont hurt forever. Know that you're one pretty cool chick and that the rest will fall into place. :)

Letting my husband 'be the boss'

Probably the hardest part of marriage, or any relationship I've had,  has been the push and pull of 'control'. I am very strong willed, independent and opinionated, I want what I want and usually I want it now. Now, motherhood helped that I lot because literally I get nothing when i want it only to ensure that 3 little people's demands are met nearly on command. Hahaha. But I do believe that in a relationship someone needs to have the final say. For us, that person is my husband.  Let me be clear that all of our decisions are made jointly and the big ones are at length with both sides being taken into consideration. BUT if we're at a stand still and don't agree my husband gets the final say. There are many reasons for this but the bottom line is that what he says goes. Now if that decision happens to be the wrong one I am still my loud opinionated self. (Hahahah) When I tell people this though they are very perplexed and very put off. I can see it on their faces and hear it in their silence. One friend even told me 'that sounds awful.' And I fully admit sometimes its a bitch! And sometimes I don't like knowing that I can argue all I want but if he's got his mind set we're not doing X Y or Z. But its what works for us. And it works, in part, because I give up a little of my need for control and trust in my husband.  I trust that he has our best interest at heart, I trust that he knows what he's doing and that he is making his decision with care. I've seen him compromise plenty of times, especially in the interest of our family and I trust that he always wants to do right by us. So in the end I relinquished my control and lost some selfishness, and its worth it every day.

Challenging the 'modern feminist'

I've struggled a lot lately with what being a woman should entail. If you listen to the media, look at magazines or watch TV you'll see a lot of different types of women. What You Won't See Much of is the 'traditional' woman. You wont see a stay at home mother, a woman in the kitchen (how archaic gasp) or a woman cleaning a bathroom. For ME being a woman is all of these things. I take pride in staying home with my babies during the day, in making my own bread, in baking cookies and making dinner for my family. And that 'type' of women is no longer reprensented. For some reason that woman isn't important any longer. We're taught that we can have it all, but somehow not needing 'it all' (whatever the hell 'it all' is) makes us less.  Why? Where has the traditional woman gone and why is her presence somehow offensive to so many people?

Time to get back to it

So its been awhile! But I thought that maybe it was time to get back to doing something that I love. SO the blog has been re opened and will move forward with funny mom tales, the daily stay at home mom life and the ever changing world and my views on its craziness.

The first six mongths

Lately I feel like I haven't had much time for anything except babies and Marley. These first six months have gone by so fast I can't believe it. Living on coffee and hope that the boys start sleeping through the night has kept me going though! A typical day goes like this:
-Marley up at 645am - snuggles and tv time in moms bed till the boys get up.
-Boys up around 730 - Breakfast, playtime, coffee time for mom.
-9am mom attempts to watch Kelly and Michael
-930 the boys take their first nap. This means quiet time for Mar. We do a project, we watch tv or we play nicely till the boys wake up.
-1030-11 the boys wake up. They eat. We clean up more, change diapers etc etc etc.
-1230 the boys go down for their second nap. Marley and I eat lunch. Clean up from lunch. Usually play play dough, build legos, do a puzzle (which Marley insists she likes but will sit for about two minutes and leaves me with the clean up). I make one more cup of coffee swearing its my last. Now that it's nice Marley will sometimes go play in our back yard while I clean up the kitchen, get a load of dishes started, fold laundry etc. If I'm feeling really tired Marley watches a show on my phone while I watch a show I have recorded.
-230 the boys wake up and we repeat the morning till Ben gets home. Sometime around 4pm I try to finish Kelly and Michael but realize that I've only made it to about 7 minutes in. I give up.


A great night is when each baby is only up once. A bad night (like last night) is when each baby is up a gazillion times and I get about two hours of sleep.


The boys are smiling, talking, reaching for us and mocking us. They smile alllll the time and are so dang sweet. Marley has been the BEST big sister I could ever ask for and I'm so lucky to have her. Because on the days that I'm majorly tired, stressed, thinking I can't keep going and wondering how the hell people do this. Marley looks at me and says that I'm the BEST mom or that she loves me. And sometimes when I'm crabby she says 'don't have that attitude with me!' hahaha. Either way she makes me smile and laugh and then the day  goes on. How lucky am I?


Last night I was packaging up clothes to donate and I looked at Ben and asked if he was SURE we were done having kids. Because I just don't know if I feel 'done'. He looked at me like I was a crazy person. haha. One or two more....maybe???.....

The twins birth story....finally

Well it's been six months, why not tell the boys birth story now.
I made it to one day shy of 39 weeks before we induced. I still kind of cant believe it. I am a super baby carrier!
A little back story. I went to the Dr. on Monday and she took one look at me and said 'you're just ready aren't you?' My response was YES! hahaha I asked if we could schedule an induction for Friday because it would mean less time that Ben had to take off work and more time that he'd have at home to help me. So the induction was scheduled for that Friday. Up until my induction I felt .... large....haha. I couldn't do much anymore. I'd slept in a recliner for roughly the last two months of my pregnancy. I couldn't bend over. I couldn't walk at more than a snails pace (super annoying to ben). I just wasn't going far fast!
Friday morning came and Ben and I were confidant that we'd start the induction around 8 and these babies would be born super fast (just like Marley). We started the induction around 8am. And we waited. My mom showed up around noon. Waited some more. Nothing was happening. So I got an epidural later in the day. I bounced on a ball. I walked a little. We all watched TV, read magazines, slept. Pretty soon one of my drs came in and said that he'd like to break my water in hopes that it would bring the boys down farther and start active labor. No joke he broke my water and jumped off the bed because of the huge gush. hehe. Finally things started to happen.
SO. Our plan was this: Deliver in the operating room because one baby was head down but the other was sideways. If the second baby didn't move head down and his cord came down before him we would have to deliver the second baby via c section. We were going to have one baby, stop and do a quick ultrasound to see where baby two was and make a decision from there. A few things happened in the interim. I was laying on my side so long all my epidural ran to one side ( I didn't even know that was possible) so I started feeling a LOT. The nurse kept asking me if I had to push. What I didn't realize at first was that I had to pee which actually equaled that I had to push. My the time I realized it I was practically delivering a baby. When I told the nurse I needed a Dr she said I'd have to wait because she was with another patient. My one freak out of the day was me yelling 'Im having twins I don't give a fuck!' Or something to that extent. Anyway I was swiftly rolled into the operating room and Ben was suited up in full Bee Keeper gear. My poor mom started following us and the Dr told her she couldn't come because it was too risky. Delivering in an operating room made me feel like I was on a movie. Big bright lights and LOTS of nurses, two drs and an anesthiologist all accompanied me. Pretty soon Sanders was born and I heard my dr say 'OK hold on I have a foot, let me see if I can get another one.' And two seconds later 'Got it.' Sanders and Hendrix were born two minutes apart. Hendrix being pulled out feet first and arms up over his head by my Dr. The boys were beautiful and healthy and we couldn't have been more amazed. As I wheeled out into the hallway and back to our room my mom, step dad, brother, sister and dad were all waiting and smiling. I don't know if I'll ever forget the pure joy that I felt in that moment.
The next several days were a blur and the months to come have flown by. But that moment, coming out and seeing my family, with my husband by my side and my twins in my arms .... that moment will forever stand still in my mind and my heart.

Found out we are having twins. What?!

Ben and I were so terrified excited to find out that we are having twin boys! I laid down on the table on Monday and the ultrasound tech looked at me and said 'this is your first ultrasound?' I said 'yes' and she says 'I'm going to show you something. Here is the first heartbeat and here is the second heartbeat. You are having twins.' Our jaws couldn't be pulled off the floor. hahahah. I KNEW I was big and I KNEW I was showing earlier than normal but I just figured it was because this was my second pregnancy. Guess not! Ben was pretty excited to find out right away that one was a boy. We found out about 20 minutes later that our second is also a boy. After the initial shock wore off I think we took it fairly well. Ben and I still stare at eachother in awe a couple times a night going 'I can't believe it' but are so excited to see what life has in store for us. I get all teary thinking about the fact that we lost one not that long ago and that this was just his way of coming back to us. And that makes me feel so blessed. *********I got a call from our dr today saying the ultrasound looked good and that I can still do monthly checkups for right now. Yah! I go in on Friday for my 20 week check up and for another quick ultrasound to make sure everything is still going well.

Aspartame you will be the death of me

If you viewed my previous post you now know that I'm pregnant :) Here is the thing about it. Everyone tells you how great it is and oh it's so wonderful blah blah blah. The truth? You are sick, you are tired, if you have kids one of them is always jumping on you and you can't eat ANYTHING. Good luck trying to find a drink without aspartame in it. No lunch meat. No sushi. No caffine. No soft cheese. And I could go on and on and on. Yesterday I had a turkey sandwich and had a pop. It felt soooooo good. hahahaha. My advice? Take everything with a grain of salt. No soft cheese that isn't pasturized. Well unless you are traveling to the south of france or you have goats, milk them and make cheese out of it I wouldn't be too worried. Don't go to a sushi place that looks like maybe yesterday it was tattoo parlor. And don't drink like 30 mt dews a day. Also be prepared for everyone to tell you how you should do things. Because, of course, they were/are a better pregnant person than you. 'Oh I didn't have ANY caffine, not worth the risk'. 'I microwave ALL my meat before I eat it. No sense in getting listeria.' Really bitch? I'm tired, my two year old was up twice last night and I'm having a goddamn cup of coffee. And guess what? I might even get my sandwich from the gas station...Ok I wouldn't get my sanwich from a gas station but you see what I mean. OK, pregnant women rant over.

First Trimester, week 10 - Man I'm sexy

Most people do NOT know that I'm currently pregnant. But I thought it might be fun to remember some of the 'wonderfulness' of pregnancy so I'm writing this on March 4th and scheduling the post for later on. So here goes. My pregnancy so far. Has been NOTHING like I remember Mars pregnancy being. I'm very tired, very sore and have horrible stomach problems. I've cut out milk and yogurt and that seems to help a little bit. But not a lot. I don't know whats worse, being constipated or the exact opposite. Mostly I feel bad for my co workers and husband who have to share a bathroom with me. I'm pretty sure I text my mom last week and said 'I can't stop pooping or farting.' Do you hear that Hannah H? Do not have sex ever or you'll get pregnant and this will happen to you :) Just kidding, you can have sex when you're 45. What else has been happening? We made the mistake of telling Mar that mommy had a baby in her tummy. Apparently she listens because a few days later Mar told auntie Brandi at daycare 'mommy has a baby in her tummy'. The cat was out of the bag. Whoops. We've only told a few people so far but I don't know how much longer I can keep the secret as I look like I'm about 5 months along ... not two. Awww the joys of your second pregnancy. What you weren't back in shape all the way like you wanted to be? What your stomach muscles have weakend considerably because of your first pregnancy? Well lets make sure the world knows that either you are eating way to many fruit roll ups or you are having a baby. Or, in my case, probably both. Luckily some of these symptoms have subsided a little bit. I'm not feeling SO amazingly exhausted and hopefully it will continue to get better as the days go on here. Even with all that Ben and I are feeling very blessed and are hoping that soon we will be telling the world we are expecting baby number 2 :)

It seems like

My girlfriend did something like this on FB and it got me thinking ... and got me all teary...so here goes *It seems like just yesterday I was: -Playing outside at my Nana and Papa's farm without a care in the world. -Crying to my mom in the car at the bus stop the first day of 7th grade. New school, no friends and I was terrified. She drove behind the school bus the whole way, stopped at the school to make sure I was ok and was waiting for me at the bus stop when I got home. Yup that one still makes me cry. What would we do without our moms? -Graduating high school and wondering where life would take me. -Moving out on my own for the first time without a single possesion of my own. Hand me down everything including pots and pans. I think I bought dollar store silverwear and dollar bowls from Target. -Going out too much, laughing all the time, being young and stupid and feeling like it would never end. -Sitting on my best friend Rachaels couch, talking, eating, watching tv, crying over a boy etc etc etc. And then walking the 20 steps back to my own apartment. Best 'roomate' situation ever. -Seeing Ben for the first time. Thinking about how cute he was and dancing with him all night. That was 7 years ago already. Where does time go? -Buying a house and hoping with all my hope that it was the right decision. It was. -Getting married. Big one. And KNOWING with all my heart that it was the right decision. It was, is and always will be :) -Finding out we were pregnant. Seeing Bens face for the first time with a half terrified look and a proud smile. -Having Marley. Looking at her and knowing I would love her and watch out for her forever. Hoping I could be the mommy she desearved. Time flies. And it's so easy to forget all the amazing things that life has brought us. _ I can't seem to get my blog to 'act' the way it wants to so I'm sorry for all the paragraphs. For some reason thats all it's letting me do right now!

Somehow my little girl is 2 today. Where has all that time gone? It seems like only yesterday I had just given birth to the most amazing little thing in the whole world. Now she talks, dresses herself and doesn't look like my little baby anymore. She tells us every morning 'I sleep good!' and is full of smiles and hugs, even when it's 530am :) She loves dancing and being silly and is the sweetest little thing. I think it still melts mine and Bens hearts every time she says 'I luv you'. Recently shes LOVED Dora and Bubble Guppies and requests to watch their 'movies' every night. Marley is most definitley Bens daughter as she loves to entertain. More than once we've laughed at her and she looks at us with those big blue serious eyes and asks 'that funny?' She wants to make sure we are having a great time. hahah Especially on Mondays after a whole weekend with her I find myself missing her terribly. But I know that soon enough I'll get home and she'll be running to me calling Mommy Mommy and telling me about her day. Marley you truely are the light of our world. You are funny, so amazingly smart and so sweet and kind. I love your feisty little attitude, the snuggles you give and the bold statements you make when you are very sure that you do NOT want to do something. :) You are wonderful and I am so blessed to be your mommy.

How do you justify your time???

On a recent face book post a friend of mine posted the following question (and I'm paraphrasing) 'How do people justify going to the gym rather than spending time with their family ... I just dance around the living room with my boys.' I'll admit that when I first read it my thought was 'do I have to justify it? Should I feel guilty for wanting to take time to myself?' I mean we do a LOT together ... I let her in the bathroom to play in the sink while I poop for petes sake. It was quickly followed by me thinking 'Why the hell should I have to justify anything to you.' Now let me say that this girl is someone that I would consider a friend and I don't think she meant anything by her comment. I would never fault her for asking a simple question. It also got me thinking. I did respond with the fact that I put Marley to bed and then go to the gym. But I do think it's important to take time for yourself, make yourself better etc. Dancing around my living room is not enough to take care of the muffin top that I have going on! haha. Here is what has continued to bother me. As a first time mom it took me a LONG time to realize that I desearve time to myself and I shouldn't feel guilty for taking it or wanting it. Of course, a night away or an hour at the gym is different then spending every night in the bar, but I think you get what I'm saying. The guilt associated with being a mom (for me at least) can be huge. An example? When Mar was just a little babe I hardly left the house. Looking back I know that I was dealing with some mild depression on top of being majorly sleep deprived. But I HATED it when Ben would go out. It made me resent him. Why didn't he feel for our daughter what I felt? Why didn't he need to be with her 100% of the time? I even felt guilty for wanting a SHOWER by myself. But it caused a lot of problems for us. Now that Marley is older and I have learned that doing stuff on my own is wonderful sometimes, I feel like we have a great system worked out. Ben and I go and do our own things when we want to while the other one (typically) stays at home with Mar. For instance? I'm going out tonight with girl friends while Ben stays home. This weekend on Saturday I slept in while Ben and Mar ran errands, got breakfast and visited with nana. Sunday Ben slept while Mar and I went out to get groceries and have breakfast. It makes me LOVE our 'alone time' together and also love that Ben gets his own special daddy daughter morning too. The point to my ramblings in that it's OK ... for us at least ... to do your own thing. To not let go of yourself just because you are a mommy. Yes I am Bens wife and Marleys mommy ... but first I was me. And I will not be made to feel guilty for wanting to make myself better. Whether it be my going to the gym, going out with friends or taking a shower on my own.

Christmas Past

My sister in law just informed me that Santa is coming to one of our Christmas'. This got me thinking of Christmas past and all the things that make me love this holiday. I had to share some of my favorite memories. *The year my cousins and I got bean bag chairs. We spent the rest of the night jumping off the top of the steps on to the bean bag chairs. I'm pretty certain the chairs were busted by the end of the night and thrown out. But we had fun. *Because my parents were seperated I often spent christmas eve night traveling from my moms to my dads. I can remember very distinctly getting to my nanas house late. It would be all dark outside and the whole world would be quiet in anticipation of Santas arrival. All the lights were off in the house and I would lay on the couch watching the lights on the christmas tree blink and glow, utterly at peace with life and all it had given me so far. *One of my funniest memories may have been when santa came to my moms house for the first time. This was my first experirence with 'creepy' santa and he spent more time with the 'big girls' sitting on his lab then the little kids. As one of the 'big girls' (I think I was maybe 19) I was still a little terrified. From the looks of my cousins they all were too. *My favorite part, always, of every Christmas is when my Papa reads the Christmas Story from the bible. It makes me cry every time and I love it. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember what this time of year is about. For me its about our Saviour and my family. It's remembering to turn off the lights and sit in the quiet wonder of the christmas tree, if only for a few minutes, to let go of everything that we hold on to way to tightly and embrace all we have been given.

Potty Time !

We started thinking about potty training a few months ago. It was early but Mar seemed to be kind of sort of getting ready. So I bought a potty chair and we started indtroducing her to the idea of the whole thing. Lately she's been a lot more ready and goes in the potty a lot. She even tells us she has to go when we're out. My big girl! So today I went and bought her big girl panties. And now (sigh) I'm almost a little sad about it. How did my little peanut who I swear just yesterday was 2 months old, turn into a big girl who goes potty on her potty chair?! Now, we've had our bumbs along the way. Last night she dumped all of her toys out of one of her storage boxes and peed in that...whoops. Annnnnd she responded all night with a 'nope' every time we asked her if she had to go .... but we're getting there. Luckily she still wants to snuggle up and lay her head on my shoulder. If I lost that right now I don't know what I'd do!

Wow it's been awhile

Where to begin - sometimes time goes by so quickly I can hardly keep up. Here is a dose of what we have been doing lately with some more posts to come. Halloween has come and gone and our lil peanut was the cutest sweetest little strawberry that I've ever seen. We did a hay ride the weekend before Halloween that she thought was amazing. And on Halloween night we hit up just our neighbors houses. She didn't really get it but she loved that they were giving her treats. Marley then helped hand out candy when we got home. She kept wanting the kids to come back and kept saying 'Monsters? More?' That very same night we THOUGHT we had our own monster. After we'd put Mar to bed and the lights were off to deter any more trick or treaters we heard what we thought was loud footsteps coming from upstairs. The door to Mars room creaking open had Ben running, two steps at a time, up to her room. No intruder was found. What we DID find was one Marley Lou walking out of her room and calling for daddy. Yup she'd climbed our of her crib and she did it one more time that night! Dang dare devil kids! It might have been that we were watching some scary Freddie VS Jason or something on TV but she creeped the two of us right out. In other, more daily type of news Marley is talking talking talking. She's putting more and more words together and she will repeat pretty much anything you day. Including all the bad words. She's moved out of her high chair and into a booster seat at the table that she LOVES to sit in. She's not scared of well ... anything and shows us every minute of every day. She goes down the big water slide at the Centre (in our laps of course). She practically dives into the deep end of the pool with no concern that she can't swim! And now at home she's started dunking her own head under the water as it comes out of the faucet. Needless to say she's a little water baby. Every day she amazes me and makes me smile.